Muse
At an international seminar where scientists were boasting about their countries' achievements, an American scientist claimed that they had invented a fighter plane which could touch the ceiling of the sky. When challenged, he admitted that it didn't actually touch it, but almost did. Then a Russian scientist claimed that they had invented a submarine which could travel on the floor of the sea. He was also challenged and he had to admit that the submarine almost traveled on the floor. The Indian scientist then claimed that they were now able to feed themselves through their nose. He was also challenged. He then said, "Well, almost."
Once Santa Singh and Banta Singh happened to be together in Delhi. Having excursion tickets, they boarded a DTC double decker. Banta Singh, finding no vacant seat in the lower deck, went to the upper deck and took a seat. He was surprised to see that three was no driver in the upper deck. Showing his anxiety, he asked Santa Singh if there was a driver in the lower deck. Promptly came the reply that there was indeed a driver. Banta Singh then said "Utte te wahe guru challanda pia hai" (God is driving this upper deck himself).
In cricket if you hit and run you will be rewarded. In a car accident if you hit and run you will be punished.
A successful husband is one who earns more money than his wife can spend.
A successful wife is one who can find such a husband.
"Wake up-wake up, darling."
"What happened?"
"Nothing. I just forgot to give you sleeping pills."
A man was passing a house where a sign was posted. BEWARE OF THE CANARY. He saw the house owner outside, watering the lawn, and asked, "Why should anyone beware of a canary?"
The house owner simply replied, "This one whistles for the dog."
Winston Churchill and Abraham Lincoln are both famous for their wit and superb sense of humour.
Once they happened to meet on a staircase which was not wide enough for the both of them to pass. Churchill stood in the middle of it and said to Lincoln, "I don't give way to a fool." Lincoln promptly stepped aside, allowing Churchill to move and replied, "Well, but I do, you excellency."
A Sardarji went to the doctor to get some medicine as he was feeling well. "This is pretty strong stuff," said the doctor, "So take some first day, then skip a day, take some again and then skip another day and so on."
A few months after the doctor met Sardarji's wife and asked how he was.
"Oh, he is dead," she told him.
"Did not the medicine I prescribed do him any good?" asked the doctor.
"Oh the medicine was all right," she replied. "It was all that skipping that killed him."
Customer: "Waiter! I asked for Alu Paratha but I find no potatoes in it!"
Waiter: "What's in a name Sir! If you ask for Kashmiri Pulav, will you expect to find Kashmir in it?"
The husband was always busy pouring over books. The nagging wife once said with a sigh, "If I were a book, I could always find your company."
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